37 of 45 Moments of Wonder
I feel like I have been away for awhile. I know I have been here, writing most days and sharing some nice thoughts about being kind and showing up in the world. And while I was very genuine in sharing those ideas, it was very hard for me. I was not fully here. But, thanks to some love from my family, the care of my very kind psychiatrist and a whole lot of determination, I am back. Thank you for sticking with me. I learned that sometimes physical trauma (like having surgery) can affect us mentally and emotionally. I admit I was not taking care of myself the way I should have been in those first days of my healing and paid for it.
During my recent episode, a colleague asked me what I needed. I told her that I needed someone to take care of all the things I wasn’t supposed to be doing. Then she asked the big question…have you asked? Ugh! Truth held up like a mirror! No. I had not asked. In fact, not only had I not asked for what I needed, I resented the people I love for not knowing what I needed.
How often do we do that in life. Not just in our relationships, but with the big things we want in life. Want a promotion? Have you asked? Want to get your book published? Have you asked someone to look at it? Interested in going out with someone? You have to ask. Want to marry the love of your life? You have to find the courage to ask.
In big things and small things, we can not expect anyone to read our minds. If you want something in this life, you must find the courage to ask.
So why don’t we ask? I believe it is because we are afraid of the response the other person will have. I have been contemplating this a lot lately because I am notorious for not asking for what I need or want because I am afraid the other person will either say no, or worse, will say yes begrudgingly and resent me later. The truth is, however, that how someone else reacts or responds to my request is none of my business. My only job is to ask and then accept whatever they choose. I don’t have to like the response. I just have to accept it.
So this week, I am challenging myself, and I challenge you, to ask for what you need and want. Just try it and see what happens. I would love to hear how it works for you.