18 of 45 Moments of Wonder
They say that to err is human, to forgive, divine. I would like to challenge this. To err is certainly human. To love truth and to seek understanding, also human. And to forgive – the most human of all. And while it may also be divine, let us not underestimate the power of human forgiveness.
It is no secret that I have struggled to let go of error. I am a person who loves truth. I seek it. I feel like I mostly live in truth. Though, if I am being totally honest, there are times when I fall short and maybe don’t fully live in truth. But I want to understand why people do what they do, why they say what they say, and what truth or lies they base their actions and opinion on. The problem is that I have a need to understand before I feel I can forgive.
I wonder, though, if I have it all wrong. What if I need to forgive in order to understand. What if the pardon needs to come first? As this is a blog primarily about vulnerability, I would like to reach out and ask you – how do you forgive beyond an intellectual forgiveness? What I mean is, I know I have forgiven someone in my head. I don’t hold their errors against them but every time I think about the error I feel it in my body. It feels primal and raw and I feel right back in the situation. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. How do you work through that?
Also, I am going to use this time to make a request for forgiveness before the error. Next week I will be heading out of town to have surgery. If you have been following, you know about my bone tumour growing in my leg. I call her Tina. Well, Tina is about to be evicted. My focus will be on taking care of my health next week so I will not be posting a blog post on Thursday, Friday or Saturday while I take care of this, of me. I will make up the three days at the end of the 45 Days or will double up once I am feeling better.
So as we go into the weekend, lets remember the words of Voltaire. Let us love the truth and let us pardon error. Let us apply these words to those we know and love, those we don’t particularly care for and mostly for ourselves. Friends, we all deserve forgiveness. From ourselves most of all.